Postmarked: Townsville, USA
by Alicorn
Summary: He's making a list, but after the letters from Townsville, he might want to check it more than twice.  Dec. PPG-hub one-shot.


My Dear Father Christmas,

Rarely has a reason for a letter such a

necessary. I understand you only handle human requests normally.

Since I hold human level wisdom I should very much fancy a

miniature controller death ray. If I have not been 'good' enough for

such a gift, a catnip mouse and a day when I needn't reside at the

top of a tree courtesy of the local dogs will do.

Sensibility,

White Cat

* * *

><p>Dear Santa,<p>

No one wants to talk to me! I have no

idea why! I'm so good at talking even if I'm not at driving. (Sorry I

ruined those hubcaps I asked for last year really I am. It was White

Cat in that fancy other car. I'm only human!)

That's why this year if everyone

doesn't want to talk to me so much and hear all the interesting

things I have to say about the tin cans on 5th street or

how they're potting their azaleas wrong, I'd really like internet for

Christmas. Internet faster than White Cats' humans' dial up if you

could. I hear tumblr's all the rage for us talkers!

Thanks Santa!

You're a Pal!

Sincerely,

Best Regards,

Your's Truly,

Talking Dog

* * *

><p>Santa Baby,<p>

I never forgot last year.

Hope you haven't ether, sugar cookie.

One am, my place.

You bring the tinsel and the oh so

pretty ancient ruby of Carlyle, and I'll be sure all the unwrapping

is already done on my sheepskin rug by the fire.

XOXO,

Sedusa

* * *

><p>Dear Santa,<p>

A monomolecular DNA splicer would be so

cool!...

Not that I'm writing to ask for one but

you know if you happen to have one just sitting around and it needs

a good home...well you know.

Happy Holidays,

Professor Utonium

P.S. My girls' letters are attached.

They are very sorry for their part in Princess destroying the North

Pole workshop last year. Blossom even thinks you wouldn't answer a

letter from her now, but a collection of classic novels would be a

safe bet. Kids will be kids!

* * *

><p>Dear Santa,<p>

Okay, okay I know what you're gonna

say. I haven't been good all year, but they were asking for it. Well,

maybe not Mitch but he tired to kiss me! There's a line Santa, a

line! Anyway, I'd really like a Beefy Betty Goes Bonkers action

figure, and a new friend for Chompy, my stuffed alligator. He'd

really like a hippo buddy to drag unsuspecting victims into the the

amazon with...

(I baked the cookies this year, sorry

if they suck)

Love,

Buttercup

* * *

><p>Dear Santa,<p>

How are you? How is your wife? Are all

your reindeer okay? Do you have to brush their coats everyday to keep

them shiny?

Professor helped me make the reindeer

food this year. Does it really make them fly?

'Holly, tinsel, and Christmas cheer,

these were the ingredients used to make Santa's deer' our narrator

says. I don't know if I believe him, but I've been really really

good!

I'd like a Lulu Loopsy Lucy, the one

with blue hair and star on her cheek and new hair ribbons. Octi would

like a new hat.

Thank you!

Love,

Bubbles

* * *

><p>(Dear) Santa,<p>

toy truck (He'll just brake it like the

last one)

St. Grudge BB gun (shoot his eye out)

paper jams guitar (please god no, our

ears man)

a kitty (if you bring it you'd better

be doing the poop scooping)

(Love)

Big Billy

(and his brother from another mother

Ace. You know the drill, some clothes , a stuffed animal or somethin',

maybe a goldfish. Anything that don't kill him if he decides it looks

tasty.)

* * *

><p>Dear old Fat Guy,<p>

I was going to ask for a Lulu Loopsy

doll this year like all the other poor girls but who cares? My daddy

can buy me ten in the time it takes for you to get off your fat

tucus!

I'm glad I'm on the naughty list! You

heard me, glad! It means our maid doesn't have to give you any of my

Christmas cookies or clean your slimy fat roll marks off the front of

my genuine velvet stocking.

I've been making a killing selling the

coal at twice the market value. So keep it coming, I don't care!

Sit on it,

Princess Anne Morbucks III

* * *

><p>Santa,<p>

A magical hair growing sparkle pony

Apricot with real galloping action!

Please?

From the desk of His Honor the Mayor of

Townsville

* * *

><p>Dear Mr. Kringle,<p>

I feel a bit silly writing you this as

I understand your target demographic after all reaches a much younger

audience. Actually, that is the main reason I thought to write you.

Having gone down every other avenue I can think of. On behalf of my

fellow teachers and the children of Townsville if there is anything

you could do to recover the art and physical education funding to

our distinct you would be sending not only a merry Christmas but

countless years of fostered hope and joy.

Any help is always welcome. Perhaps you

might like to join the volunteer grandparents program at least?

Best Wishes,

Mr. Avery Green

* * *

><p>Dearest Pere Noel,<p>

I couldn't help but notice you still

haven't taken my generous advice.

Such a shame you've decided to remain so portly.

You know it's only a matter of time before a sweet belly

of jelly turns into bitter preserve thighs of regret. Oh well. I

realize I am but a fabulously underrepresented cultural minority in

Townsville but I am very sure I don't need to remind you to fill both

boots to the top with only the highest quality gifts.

Eternal Love,

Him


End file.
